My Shop!

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

My Golden Rule and Dealing With Rude Comments Online

All joking aside, and no I don't have testicles, I want to talk about a golden rule that has really been on my mind this week.  You may have noticed my new quote by the comment section of this blog
Mathew 7:12 
"So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you"

I don't talk about religion a lot on my blog, nor do I think you need to be a Christian to understand and live by this golden rule.  It was how I was brought up, to be kind and considerate of others feelings.  To speak kindly to others (as hard as this sometimes is).  No I am not a saint, and yes I have said things in the past after being provoked that I regret.  I am not claiming to be perfect but I can honestly say that I would never consider or even want to leave a hurtful or rude comment of someones blog, Facebook, or any online social site.  I think sometimes people tend to be even more cruel online because they don't have to look that person in the eye.  

So here is how I am hoping to hold people more accountable for their own actions and in turn help everyone keep the golden rule:

I am not allowing Anonymous comments on this blog anymore. 

If you feel the need to hurt others, then at least put your big girl panties on and own it.  I don't do much of any censuring on Bacon Time. I try to make it super easy for my followers to leave comments.  I want you to be able to speak your mind. If you want to leave a rude comment you can.  I will most likely not even delete it. I don't understand the desire to hurt people, but if that hate is in you, then so be it.  My only question is why do you feel the need to hurt others?  

Over all the online community I am surrounded with is fantastic. I read so many positive comments each day on Bacon Time, and they really mean a lot to me.  I do  my very best to pay it forward and leave sincere sweet comments on others sites to.  I hope that when I come in contact with folks online or in person that I can leave them with a smile.  

I would love to hear your thoughts on how you handle rude comments.  I would also like to know how you feel about my banning anonymous comments on Bacon Time. Will you ban them on your blog, or have you already done so? Since I am using Rafflecopter for my giveaways now, anyone should still be able to enter for a chance to win. I look forward to hearing from you all.

39 comments:

  1. Amen sister! I just took the "Anonymous" setting of my blog earlier this week. I think it's weird any way to comment anonymously.

    Ultimately Mindie, it's your blog, you do with it as you please, and your true followers will you respect you for it.

    I think people who feel the need to comment negatively on others blogs are just unhappy people, and it just makes them look bad.

    We are normal human beings like everyone else..there is a human behind this blog, and you (we) have feelings.

    So I commend you for what you are doing, and here's to keeping it positive!
    Love ya girl!
    Nicole
    Crafty Soccer Mom

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't know why it took me so long to turn off Anonymous". I think it will be healthy for everyone. Love ya too, even if we are both covered in cooties(sp?) this week.

      Delete
  2. He Mindie. Some people are just miserable and want to spread that misery any way they can, and hide behind the computer in this case. We screen our comments and have from the beginning. So far, we have not gotten anything hateful other than some one telling us they wish we would learn how to link properly. Taken as constructive learning. So, it it your blog and you need to do what you believe is right and fair. The play ground is really only fun when we ALL play nicely! You get them girl!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kristin I think you nailed it, they hide behind the computer or "anonymous" and it makes it so much easier to be cruel. We speak so often to our own children about bullies at school yet there are adults online that can be just as cruel as a bully in the classroom. Thanks for reading and being a kind person.

      Delete
    2. This is something that is really an epidemic in the high schools right now...online or cyber bullies! It is such a shame...

      Delete
  3. Hi.
    I would you please take me off your Email.. This linky is going some bed things to my comp. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I just left a comment for you on Facebook too, but just in case, I am not sure how to remove you, when I look at my subscribers I only see a # not emails or names, but you should be able to unsubscribe yourself. Not sure if you are talking about Facebook group, if so, again you can leave the group or turn off notifications. I apologize I have not had any complaints about weird linkies. I own and pay for a very efficient protection online from Norton (the most expensive plan they have) and have not been warned of any threats or bad software
      .

      Delete
  4. I was sad to stop anonymous comments because I enjoyed receiving those comments but I began receiving lots of spam and junk. Even though blogger caught most of them, I didn't feel like checking that box everyday and deleting both from my blog and my email.

    I still left a comment from an anonymous person that my very favorite pie was so awful they had to throw it in the garbage. ~sigh~ I was happy that I received a few later comments that were positive.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LDH I think it is so frustrating when folks leave comments like that, and they probably tried the recipe and left out an ingredient and are going to blame you. I have had a couple rude comments on one of my most tried and true recipes on Bacon Time. Crazy that not only I but 50 other people made the recipe and it was wonderful and then you "anonymous"made it and it was crap, maybe something went wrong on the "anonymous" end, don't you think? Again the golden rule applies. Thanks for your comment :)

      Delete
  5. I think you should do what you feel is right. If you don't want anonymous comments, TURN EM OFF! Most snarks are anonymous because they don't have the "testicles" to stand behind their hate.
    One comment out of a thousand good ones though sure can bring a girl down. Trust me, I know.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know, and I am the first to admit I wear my heart on my sleeve. I often let comments from strangers get to me and they should just roll off. I think that's why I am loving the purple hair so much, makes me feel tough even if I am a big soft baby inside. Mimi who is being nasty to you, you give me names ;)..... Love ya

      Delete
  6. I totally love this post! I agree with the idea of banning anonymous comments and I am going to implement that policy as well! I had to deal with this about a month ago and I was crushed...I know that I should not let it bother me, but I am human and it did! - It makes me sad that there are people out there who just want to be hateful, but you are so right...if that is what they want to so, at least be strong enough in what you believe to stand behind it! (My husband was sitting behind me as I read this post...his comment was, "I agree about the big girl panties!" - LOL. I am also going to share this on facebook! Happy Wednesday!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know it's easier said then done Sarah letting things roll of our soldiers. Thank you so much for sharing and for understanding the purpose of this post.

      Delete
  7. Mindie, I took anonymous off a couple of months ago. I had someone leaving rude and ugly comments that weren't even about the post. I figured it was some idiot getting his jollies by leaving these stupid things on innocent people's blogs. I know it meant nothing to him (or her), but it was hurtful to me and I don't have time for that in my life. I think you did the right thing!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is the crazy thing sometimes the rude comments don't even apply to the post. I have had rude comments regarding the nutritiousness of a recipe. Even on recipes that I have used reduced fat products, egg beaters, and low fat cheese! It's so frustrating that people are going to look at your picture of food and start judging without even reading the post or ingredient list. Besides the fact if I want to share an indulgent recipe why can't I? Just because I bake a pie doesn't mean I sit and eat the entire thing. Terri thanks for reading and sharing your problems too. You know I love your blog.

      Delete
  8. This is not a problem I have had to deal with yet so I don't mind leaving the anonymous settings on as long as people play nice. So far the only thing I have done is turned on word verification to reduce spam. I do know trolling and leaving hurtful comments is an issue and will definitely keep removing anonymous comments in mind if this is a problem I run into in the future.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am happy that you have not had to deal with it yet, more then likely it will happen, that's the sad thing, and the reason I wrote this post. Thanks for reading and keep up the good work with your blog Erin.

      Delete
  9. I haven't had to deal with hateful comments yet. I'm a newbie and I'm sure my day will come. There's always haters, I guess. I like your blog...and becoming a new follower :)

    Shasta

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Following you now too with linky Tools, thanks for visiting Shasta.

      Delete
  10. I removed Anonymous commenting a while ago, to prevent spamming and so far it's worked. I know Blogger put it in the Spam folder, but I just didn't want to receive it at all. Thought long and hard before I turned off Anonymous commenting, but no regrets...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My spam folder never seems to catch the things that it should, and even if no one else reads it, you are right Pam, why would I want to put a damper in my day by reading someones negative thoughts. I am glad to hear it's working well for you. Thanks for reading Pam.

      Delete
  11. Mindie, I completely agree! Earlier this week another blogger was taking a break after having a string of bad/rude comments (not to mention she deserved a break!). We are all trying to share information and support one another, why hide behind anonymity? I am pretty new to blogging so I haven't had any anonymous comments but I am turning mine off in the spirit of sisterhood! =)

    Jill @ Create.Craft.Love.

    PS - I love your blog!! =)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jill thanks for the support of sisterhood. No one wants rude comments, they totally can ruin a perfectly great day. I think you will be glad you turned off the anonymous comments and I think I will be too. PS, following your great new blog on Linky tools now too!

      Delete
  12. I think you are exactly right! Rude is rude and those comments should be kept to themselves. I appreciate your positive posts!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hello! You can also put "Comment Moderation" "Always". So you decide after reading them, whether published or not.
    Sometimes people of good will who do not have an account at Google, you may comment as "anonymous"
    Moderate course, gives more work....

    On the internet many people feel with impunity to say what he pleases, without thinking that the other side is people! Resentful people...It's not worth feeling bad!
    Kisses!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It will still let you leave a comment in open id, Aim, TypePad, Wordpress, and Live Journal, you don't have to have a google account or even be logged into google to comment, the only thing I turned off was anonymous. As far as moderation goes, it doesn't bother me so much other people seeing the rude comments, it's me reading them and feeling like crap for the rest of the day that I hate. For that reason and for time sake I could not do the moderation. Thank you for all the support Small Things.

      Delete
  14. I think I'm really lucky that I haven't had any rude comments on my blog (although I have less than 300 followers so maybe being small helps) but I turned off anonymous comments months ago because I was sick of the spam.
    that sucks you're having negative on your blog. I don't understand it. Sometimes I read things I disagree with but I just move on - everyone has their own opinions and the right to them. Plus I was raised to be polite and do unto others.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The crazy thing is I am not writing about things filled with controversy. I typically avoid subjects that are sticky, such as religion, politics, pro choice, you get the idea. I respect every bodies right to their own opinion and don't care to debate subjects of that matter on my blog, I rather this be a happy place. I could see where some blogs might be open for debate, or seek a good argument, but that's not me. That's why I think I am even more upset when I do see rude comments because they don't have a place here, and are usually irrelevant to the subject matter. I am glad you are like me and not brought up to hate. Thanks Jen for all your support.

      Delete
  15. i completely agree with you! i'm surprised that people waste their time to say mean things - i just don't get it! taking off the anonymous option is a good idea!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Katie, I know I wish I had thought to do it sooner, would have saved me some tears and heartache I do believe. Not that the only rude comments I have received were anonymous because they have not all been. This doesn't even pertain only to bloggers, people on Facebook can often times be rude, and not anonymous at all. I think folks need to keep in mind that online you can't see someones expression, you don't know if they are joking, and tone is not always easy to read. That's probably why you see me over use the ;), :), and LOL a lot so that folks know I mean no harm.

      Delete
  16. Testicles! That totally made me LAUGH OUT LOUD! Thanks for that! But, seriously I'm sorry you had to deal with someone's nastiness. You know, I've had people say rude things to me and I try to let it slide off my shoulder, but recently I had someone sad absolutely horrible things about my sweet six year old and the Mama Bear in me wanted to kick some anonymous ass! Keep up the good work and don't let the trolls get you down! (((hugs)))

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That makes me furious, being rude is one thing, attacking someones baby is ridiculous. I am so sorry that happened to you. I know me and probably a thousand other Mama Bears would come to your defense if you lost your cool with that "Anonymous" person. Hugs and good night to you.

      Delete
  17. This is a really good article and It's so true..don't understand why people are mean in leaving a feedback it's so unnecessary!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Fifth N Sixth, and thanks for visiting.

      Delete
  18. I don't understand why someone felt a need to leave a mean comment on this fun blog. Your blog is one of my favorites to follow!
    I'm sending (((hugs))) too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Annie. I have had more then one rude comment. It was just time to stop the Anonymous ones. I am sure I will get more, it's just a fact of life but hopefully not as often. Thank you for your sweet comment. Hope you will join us Friday for out Anything Goes linky.

      Delete
  19. When you get a rude comment I think you just need to think it's an unhappy person making it and just try to ignore it and move on. I've only had my blog a little over a week, and so far no one has left a rude comment. I'm going to try not to take it personally if I ever get one.

    Noreen
    http://craftyjournal.com

    ReplyDelete
  20. I love the post Mindie!
    On the internet I always watch my manners and I am never rude to people. Never. I love the blogging community and I perceive it as friendly, inspirational, helpful, mindful. I have never had a rude comment on my blog, yet I have switched off Anonymous comments simply because I was receiving a lot of spam and ads in no way associated with the general idea behind my blog. However, I have a non-existing tolerance for rude people and if I were to receive a rude comment I would delete it in a blink. Just like you, I avoid discussing delicate issues like politics and religion because I respect everyone's right to an opinion.

    Hugs,
    Maya

    ReplyDelete

Mathew 7:12
So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.